Never
before have I felt “lesser” because I am a woman. I do today.
Back a
year or so ago, when Donald Trump announced he was running for the United
States presidency, I thought it was awesome. I mean, FINALLY! An election
season with some reality-show flavor! No more stuffed shirts blathering about
the national debt. Lots of colorful sound bytes (“You’re fired!”) and PLENTY of
“SNL” skits. Oh, the “SNL” skits! I joked how I hoped Trump would win the
ticket so the fun could go on and on and we could all enjoy Hillary Clinton eat
him alive during the debates.
Then,
shit got real.
It
stopped being funny last night.
Leading
up to election night, I felt frustration with my beloved media for stirring up
the pot in what we media professors call the “agenda-setting effect.” This is
when media outlets decide what issues are important and emphasizes those,
whether or not they deserve such emphasis. I thought the whole “uh oh, Trump may
be gaining ground” prognostication was more hype. I mean, HOW could America
vote in a neophyte? A sexist, homophobic, xenophobic bully with absolutely no
experience? I know people hated Clinton, but this? I mean, come on!
How wrong
I was. How wrong the media and the pundits were. I watched a bunch of them on
CBS last night, trying to come to terms with what just happened, and the shock
on their faces said more than their bumbled words.
In any
race or game, someone wins and someone loses. I get that. That’s the nature of
it all. This whole “everyone’s a winner! Here’s your trophy” mentality isn’t
good for anyone and it enforces the creation of a group of entitled snowflakes
who can’t tie their own shoes.
So yes, I
get that someone has to lose. And I get that there are and will always be the
Republican/Democratic divide and arguments (until the country wises up and
widens the pool from just these two groups, but that’s another topic). But
this! This is beyond the typical party issues and arguments. This is bigger.
This is very different.
Last
night, America voted in someone who I honestly can’t figure out or understand.
What I do understand is the cruelty, negativity, hate, sexism and racism that
flowed forth so rapidly—and was COMPLETELY excused and accepted by the public.
I was naïve to believe that being a woman in this election would help Clinton.
It brought her down. If she was a man, do you honestly think she would have
been subjected to such ridicule or held at fault for a spouse’s actions?
This
opened my eyes to the fact that the gender divide is real, and it’s ugly.
Bullies win, and win big. I thought that as a woman, I could do whatever a man
could. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps the country isn’t as advanced as I hoped.
Perhaps the #repealthe19th hashtag trending earlier this season should have
clued me in.
What
scares me even more is that people may now feel entitled to be cruel, hateful,
bigoted, misogynistic and sexist and have it excused because that’s just “being
honest.”
This has
been called an f-you to the Obama Administration, a cry by the “trodden down
white man,” a middle finger to the establishment. But call it what it is,
people: a permission slip to be an asshole.
I’m not
being a “sore loser” because my team didn’t win. I didn’t vote for my team
because the leader had ovaries. I went with my choice because it is congruent
with who I am and what I stand for. Not everything, but a lot. Just because I’m
liberal doesn’t make me a baby killer or a lover of death-row pardons. So of
course I’m shaken when the team that did win is one that stands far and away
from the issues I hold true and important.
I told my
kids this morning that our team lost. My daughter looked incredibly shaken and
asked “are we going to war?” THAT is what upset me about the loss last night.
The fact that Trump has inspired fear and distrust in us and especially in our
children. He glorifies the “you’re with us or we’ll kick your ass” mentality
that is such a problem with society today. I reassured my girl that no, we are not going
to war. I reminded her that while the country voted in someone who does not
believe in what we believe in and does not espouse the values that we do, that
does not mean we have to agree with everything he says or does.
And we
are a strong gender that does not deserve to be treated as anything but equal.
We should not have to still be fighting for equality, nor should we have to
stomach hashtags that promote the abdication of our basic rights to voice our
choice.
“And as a
woman, you CAN do whatever you set your mind to,” I told my girl, even if now
I’m not sure I believe it myself. And that is depressing.
I told
her that we can still stand for what we believe in and above all else we value
love and respect. We respect ourselves, our family, our friends, our community
and our world. We treat others how we want to be treated. We encourage
compassion. We don’t judge and we don’t fan the fires of hate. We can disagree
and still love someone. We don’t always win, but we always try and we don’t get
bullied into believing what we don’t feel right about. Hate is never OK.
Yes. That
is right. Hate is never OK. I hope this election turns out better than I fear.
I hope it’s not a complete and utter return to darker times. I hope that it
doesn’t encourage others to become the worst versions of themselves.
But above
all, I hope that it does not boil us down into a civilization of ugliness and
hate.
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